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I wanted to share some of the marriage advice I was given by some of my clients over the years. After thirty-five years of marriage, this advice makes so much sense. Much of it seems so obvious, almost too simple. Yet how many of us paid attention when we heard things like this while we were still dating our future spouses? How many of us exercise much of this wisdom well into our marriages? I would have saved myself and my wife, Cynthia, a lot of grief had I been more aware at the outset.
“Fifteen percent of conflict is difference of opinion. Eighty-five percent is tone of voice.”
“Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong and the other is right. It means you value the relationship more than your ego.”
“Imagine what your life would really be without them.”
“A hug and a kiss go a long way.”
“Do stuff together, like going to the grocery store. Every date doesn’t have to include expensive or exciting outings. Small errands can remind you that just each other’s company can be fun.”
“Laugh at yourself and at each other.”
“The grass is never greener. Whatever your problems, you’ll likely take them with you.”
“I’m not Cinderella and he’s not Prince Charming.”
“Always kiss each other goodnight.”
“Marriage is a team sport. You can only win by playing together.”
“Keep doing the same things you did while you were falling in love. They probably have something to do with what got you to the altar.”
“Create space for yourself. Take a break but don’t say goodbye.”
“Keep creating new memories. Travel together, go somewhere and just have fun.”
“Once in a while, do at least one thing that you may not like but that thrills the other. If she loves to dance but you don’t, surprise her once in a while. If he loves cars but you find them boring, take him to a car show.”
“Do service work together. We volunteered for causes for which we both feel deeply, like working a soup kitchen and at animal shelters. Volunteering strengthened us as a couple.”
“Observance of our faith. God had no small role in bringing us together and guided us as we grew old together.”
Do you have any marriage advice to add to the list? I would love to hear it. Send me an email at Info@stevelitwer.com.
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